It Was Just (Really Only?) An Accident!

More funny excuses from Companion Marshall's inbox to ours:

It Was Just An Accident!

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers
attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words
possible:

Coming home, I drove into wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head through it.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary car going the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I
hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached
an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision, and I did not see the
other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an
accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint
gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where
no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid
the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat found
that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the curb
when I struck him.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its
way when it struck the front end. I was thrown from the car as it left the
road. I was later found in the ditch by some stray cows.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a
big mouth.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.